I was speaking to an old acquaintance last night and she said “Cynthia you are always so calm and purposeful. Amongst all of us friends, your life must be going best. I feel like I’m the least accomplished”. I laughingly told her “don’t you know that calm is my superpower, and my facade”? Of course it wasn’t funny. We had a good long conversation where I helped her take stock of what she has accomplished over the years, and she parted with the realisation that she has done quite well for herself! And I left with the realisation that making comparisons beetween your life and the lives of others is dangerous for your self esteem, your morale and your life in general.
Unlike what she believes, I actually have been off track for quite some time now. I woke up this morning however with a sense of purpose, unlike my usual mornings for the past couple of weeks where I feel overwhelmed with my life already and without any direction.
Today I am determined to do my best in what I can, to smile and to laugh with the people I meet on my way. To share myself with others. I reinforce my decision to find my purpose, and though I still don’t know how to go about that, I know all I need to do is to pick up my life and live it! Not for anybody else, but for me. Just me. I want to live a life without regrets or what ifs, and I will work my way through that one little step at a time. . .