Day 18: The Choice Between Love And Fear

I was in the company of some friends this past week and in the middle of something I was saying, someone suddenly interrupted me asking “why do you always say you’re too busy to have a steady relationship”? So I started to defend myself as usual but somewhere along the line, I realized I wasn’t fooling anybody, not even me. How in the name of all that’s good do you not have time to connect with other people? I had gotten so used to ‘being too busy to love’ that I have alienated my friends, and even myself from making new friends. But the truth is that somewhere deep inside, it boils down to being afraid to be hurt. This is an emotion we all feel, the fear of hurt. we are afraid to be hurt or perhaps have been hurt before and so we mistrust our instinc and build walls around our emotions and feelings.

Many of us can relate to the challenges that life imposes on our time and health (mental & physical ), and it’s easy to use this as as excuse to isolate ourselves from the people in our lives when what we need most is a little joy and understanding from loved ones.

I incidentally came across a message by Michelle Obama that made me realize how much we cheat ourselves by refusing to truly share ourselves with others. . .

Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with. —Michelle Obama.

Of course this is not to say that it’s feeling good all the way once you decide to share yourself intimately with others. I’m sure there will be hurt here and there, but the good moments should outweigh the bad. And so for the chance to make cherished memories, to live a worthwhile life and to leave lasting impressions in the hearts of the people I encounter in my life’s journey, I choose to love!

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