The Difference Between Victory and Defeat Is Our Mental Attitude.

For most of us, 2021 was not the best year; nor was it a great year, or a particularly good one for that matter. But for some of us still, we may decidedly just give it a pass as it is after all behind us. There’s no denying however that buried within all of us is a hope that the new year will be better and more fulfilling than last.

Looking back at 2021, I feel tempted to sink into a deep well of self chastisement. To beat myself up over all I hoped to achieve but didn’t. I see so many people happily talking about all they achieved and how much self discovery and adventure they were able to cram into the year and I wonder…why is mine different? Why do I feel such a sense of un-accomplishment?

Still, If asked about my 2021 my answer would be the classic “it was okay”. Because quite frankly, I have a hard time describing a year in which I (and likely most people)had so little expectations at the beginning of it and by its end, hardly met any. Yet, we lived through it when many didn’t. So, we swallow the disappointment of unmet expectations yet again and we find the heart to be thankful, for there is always much to be thankful for.

A Look Behind…

I decided to take a good look behind at the things that did and didn’t happen, and guess what I discovered? Well, you probably already guessed it. Yes! It wasn’t nearly as horrid as it felt. In fact, I had a really good time last year!

So much happened for me, and most of it were unplanned and admittedly challenging and so I’ve been stuck staring at my unachieved goals that I just couldn’t see all the impromptu blessings and joys that made my year.

A Glimpse Ahead…

So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things, one at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.

Rainbow Rowell.

Although my more ambitious goals weren’t met (like becoming my own boss or being swept away in a dazzling romance), but one of my most valued personal goal was – I shared myself more than ever before. At least I tried to.

I didn’t add a degree to my portfolio like I had hoped, but I did get a better job. And though I still haven’t taken all the bold steps I had hoped that I would, but I managed to make one of my most difficult decisions – to take my writing to the next level. Although I faltered somewhere at this point, but I made the decision to step out of my comfort zone and that for me is such a great win!

So ultimately, I didn’t make the giant leap that I expected to make, but instead took baby steps towards my vision and that makes the year more than worth it for me.

Most importantly are the lessons I learned from my challenges last year;

  • There’s no need to be impatient and its not enough to simply know where you’re going, you need to state clearly how you intend to get to your destination.
  • Take your time and create a step by step plan on how you will achieve your set goals, and then allow yourself to enjoy the ride.
  • Being vulnerable is painful but necessary if you want more out of life.
  • Smile more, be more thankful and happiness will happen naturally.
  • My happiness is my own responsibility.
  • When in doubt, remember to stop and count your blessings.
  • Most importantly, try baby steps instead of great leaps.

All things considered, looking back I do believe that I managed to take a good first step; not a leap, but definitely a step forward in the right direction. On that note, I’ll like to share a quote that will guide me through this year;

Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident, just do it and eventually the confidence will come.

Carrie Fisher

So, what did your challenges last year teach you about yourself, and how can you use these lessons to propel yourself forward this new year?


Published by Tia

I am a book loving, adventure seeking introvert, and life itself is my inspiration. I am passionate about personal growth, and love to write about self improvement & mental health, whenever I’m not embarking in some otherworldly adventure.

5 thoughts on “The Difference Between Victory and Defeat Is Our Mental Attitude.

    1. I’m really sorry to hear that you were ill. I hope you’re better now. It’s indeed easy to forget the blessings when we’re focused on the disappointments. I pray 2022 holds even more blessings for you!

      Liked by 1 person

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